Sunday, 14 March 2010

reply to john


Thank you for your comment.

I will reply like this, so that what you told me will not go unnoticed.

Another senseless killing.
What cold-hearted reckoning must have proceeded this terrible act to justify taking the lives of two men, men they did not even know - two brothers, for god sake.

Ruining the lives of many others in the process.

People who must live the rest of their lives knowing somebody thought nothing of killing someone they loved and needed.
No guilt, no remorse.

How can they go on with their lives? How do they mend their souls? Can they ever again look at the world and smile, feel life can be good, can be gentle and safe?

Dear god, it is hard to think about these things.

I feel it in my body. Anger and fear tensing my muscles.

Not fair. It is immoral, it is unacceptable.

It is. Unacceptable.

But do we, do we accept violence as part of the world we live in?

I think we yield - give in, give up, what can we do?

Another stupid question. I don't have an answer.

I don't even have words of comfort, no buts, no understanding - I can find no excuses.

And again I am thinking of the children, what about the children?

But no, John, not bitter, not cynical - just empty-handed, and overwhelmed, I suppose.

Still I am coming to South Africa soon.

I don't know about statistics, about where we are more, or less, safe, and it wouldn't matter anyway.

Did I tell you how much I loved it there? How much love I felt, how freely it was given?

How intensely happy and at home I felt?

That's why I am going back.

I am following my heart - what else can we do?


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