double dutch

I am going to tell you something disgusting now, so you might want to give it a miss.

Walking in the park the other day a woman in front of me stepped into a gob of spit.
A slimy thread stuck to her shoe for a moment before snapping back. I felt sick.
I have a little trick to help make things like this palatable (yuck, can't believe I said that.) I break it down to more acceptable substances.
What is spit? Molecules of bacteria, water, chemicals, stuff like that, I guess.
Nothing to be afraid of, get over it.
Doesn't always work though. I still had visions of someone - who? - collecting his saliva  (must have been a man,) and spitting it out.
What was he thinking, did he check to see if anyone was looking or did he not even realise he was doing it - causing someone like me to wonder about it?

And why does the mind do this to you anyway?

How about you?
Like do any of you take things literally when they are meant metaphorically?
So when someone says: 'He's a real prick,' then presto, the image of that particular person appears in the form of a giant prick?
In Holland there is an expression, it is not considered bad language, and nobody thinks twice about using the c-word in this respect:
'Voor de kat zijn kut,'  translates as: 'for the cat's pussy (excuse the pun.')
It is what you might say when you are doing something but nobody is taking any notice.
Or, when you are improvising, just fooling around.
In both cases you are doing it for the cat's etc.. You might as well not bother.

There is something puzzling about this saying though. The possessive pronoun used in Dutch, 'zijn', is masculine........
No-one can accuse me of being unimaginative, but there are limits.

Sorry, how did I get here?
I don't know, I'm just thinking out loud, writing ad lib, voor de kat zijn kut, as one might say here.
So you've learnt some Dutch today.

But I've got to hurry now, I'm late for an appointment, said I'd be there with bells on!

Right - tell me what you are thinking now :)